Last month, the ludicrously talented Dinalie Dabarera, of Dinalie.com fame, was kind enough to design me a poster. Together we came up with the concept of myself in heroic pose with a chicken hat in one hand and a sexy chicken by my side. As concepts go, it was definitely one.

Behind me, a fleet of evil chickens and the enormous ever-looming factory of Mingum’s Chicken imposing itself on the landscape. All of which makes sense if you come and see the show at the Sydney Comedy Festival at the end of April.

The poster is hand drawn and coloured in pencil and it is better than anything I could have imagined. To check out more of Dinalie’s work go to Dinalie.com.

Back at the Roast, two weeks in and things are going swell. It’s a welcome return to work after four months of no structure. Won a Molkie for best digital find last week, which almost makes up for not being nominated for a Logie. A Logie would potentially just be a nomination, the Molkie was a win.

If you’ve been watching the show, that’s great. If not, check it out on youtube and catch it live (not live, but current) at 8:10 weeknights on ABC2.

Here’s a sketch from the show that I was in with Andy Nehl about the Minor Party Senators potential secretariats.

For each episode updated the day after airing, subscribe to the youtube channel below;

https://www.youtube.com/user/RoastNewsUpdate

And follow the Roast on Twitter @TheRoastTV or #RoastTV

My “For What It’s Worth” article was published in MX today, and while it does have most of the same words that I’d written, it was substantially edited. So here’s both the article as it appeared in the MX and the article I wrote in full.

For What it’s Worth – Littering

Surely in a time when we’re trying to save the earth and those inhabiting it from extinction, in an age when scientific reports are regularly released that warn us of our own impending oblivion. Surely in a time when the fear of climate change and the increase of natural disasters are in our newspapers daily, we should’t have to worry about such small-scale environmental concerns as littering. Surely, if we’re classified as either “aware of our imminent-doom”, or a “doom denier”, we should be concentrating on things of a macro-level, not caught up in something as mundane and 1980’s-schoolyard as ‘littering’.

I was walking home from the city last week when I saw a junkie walking my way. His face was gaunt from years of substance abuse; scabs dotted his neck and the insides of his track-marked arms, and a grizzled expression lay upon his tired-angry face.

Then, from inside a convenience store, walked a well-dressed man with a freshly purchased packet of smokes. He stepped onto the street and proceeded to throw the plastic encasing his future-cancer to the curb.

“Ya f$@king dickhead!” shouted the junkie, before walking into the convenience store himself.

The well-dressed man looked at me with two raised eyebrows that seemed to say, ‘what a crazy world’ then wandered away lighting one of his tar-soaked-cylinders and sucking in the poison.

Now, surely if someone who has raped their veins with a needle for the better part of a decade is taking the moral high-ground over you, you’re doing something wrong.

I mean, who is this guy? This guy who, with such sociopathic disregard for the cleanliness of the street, released his rubbish to the roadside. Does he think he’s cool? Is it an image thing? “Look at me, I’m so important, I don’t even have time to find a bin.” Is he ignorant? Does he think that someone else is going to pick it up? Who is he? Does he go home to his family and put out the recycling bins and cook dinner like a normal human being? Is he that kind of monster?

Whenever I see someone like this, someone who blatantly throws garbage on the street with an attitude so laissez-faire it would frustrate a sloth, there’s a part of me- a big part of me -that wants to pick up that rubbish, race it over to the delinquent in question and say, “Hey, dick-nose, you dropped this” then shove that small piece of plastic into their open palm with an unnecessary amount of aggression as I, with unfaltering eye contact, let out a Mona Lisa smile before walking away.

But if I did that, then I’d be the weirdo.

For a while I thought maybe littering wasn’t so common a thing, just something I happened to notice. But recently I glimpsed a new ad-campaign adorning public spaces that warns the would be tosser that what they are about to partake in is a ‘dirty look’.

So clearly it’s an epidemic beyond my own insanity; clearly people are still littering.

So sign that petition to stop the Shark Cull in WA and take issue with the way   the Abbott Government is destroying the environment and any hope that there will be an environment in the future, but as long as you continue to throw wrappers onto the street, then you’re part of the problem too… Dick-nose.

Every week, sourced from a collection of Lost Pilots, Seaton Kay-Smith and Nick Hunter, along with a special guest or two, bring you a new half hour comedy radio play on FBi.

Grounded at the terminal of life, these Lost Pilots could have gone somewhere, could have been a contender, but now they’re fated to spend eternity in conceptual limbo. How low can they go? Pretty damn low.

From Interdimensional Assassinations to Admin in the year 2549. Ghost Hunting Office Workers to a Disobedient Teenage Yeti. These are the Lost Pilots… With Nick and Seaton

It was announced on the Beyond website earlier in the year, a horror film I have written and have been developing with Martin Fabinyi (Wolf Creek, Chopper, Getting Square).

#WrongNumber is a cautionary horror film dealing with social media and the dehumanising effect of modern technology.

The film is currently “In Development”, but I will endeavour to keep this page updated with news of the film as it progresses.

http://www.beyond.com.au/production/watch/wrongnumber

My latest hour of stand up comedy, The Carnival of Regret: The Haunted Fairground, finished its run at the Sydney Fringe last week.

The story goes that I have inherited a carnival that is entirely staffed by ghosts. The hour of comedy deals with the concept magics place in a world of information; how much wonder can there be when we know what goes bump in the night?

If you missed out of seeing it at the Fringe, (highly likely, unless you were one of twenty or so people), I do plan on bringing it back for the Sydney Comedy Festival next year.

(Unfortunately, I designed the poster myself for this show)

Originally written as a screenplay, I adapted the story into a novel at the end of last year, and next year, you’ll be able to read it. (If you so choose).

HarperCollins eBook branch, Impulse, have decided to publish it in early 2015, so get your kindles and iPad’s ready!

I won’t say too much more, but undoubtedly I’ll yap on about it later, when there’s more news.

A new comedy gaming talk show will be hitting the Giant Dwarf stage later in the month!

Ben O’Brien and Carlo Ritchie from Big Head Mode will be joined by Rae Johnson, Jordan Raskopoulos and musician Benny Davis as band leader. The show is on March 25 and tickets are on sale now!

I will be writing for the show as well as a couple of things on the night. Make sure to check it out, it’s got a sweet poster and is going to be a lot of fun!

The time approaches.

With just under a month to go – my Sydney Comedy Festival show starts on the 13th of May and ends on the 15th – the poster has been designed and I am really digging it!

The good people at Dinalie.com put this poster together featuring everybody’s favourite mascot Benedict Teatowel, photos courtesy of Jeremy Belinfante.

The show is on at the Factory Theatre in Marrickville at 8:15 pm on Wednesday 13 and Friday 15 and tickets are $18 full price or $15 for students.

It’s going to be spooky, it’s going to be funny, it’s going to be the same as the one I did at the Fringe last year, with a few minor adjustments and tightenings. The fringe show was really well received, so I’m super excited to performing it again, THE CARNIVAL OF REGRET: THE HAUNTED FAIRGROUND! Come along if only to catch a glimpse of the teatowel man himself.

Book early, book often!

http://www.sydneycomedyfest.com.au/single-event/?show_id=740

Nick Hunter and I are up for a Creative Achievement Award on Monday night, which will be pretty interesting, not to mention exciting. The Emerging Artist list of 17 finalists was released on Friday and there is some serious competition!

But at the end of the day, it’s just good to be a finalist because the judges are pretty impressive and they have to watch our work to make a decision, so it’s good to know the Head of Matchbox Pictures will be potentially watching the Orb of the Tharp Pa Pa Pa.

http://www.trade.nsw.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0011/71849/rel_20150522_creative_indsutries_awards_finalists_announced.pdf

I was fortunate enough to be selected as one of six emerging writers to take part in the initial development stage of a new series created by Every Cloud Productions in collaboration with Brian Elsley (he’s the person behind Skins (UK)), and what a great experience it was!

A bit on Deadlock from the Deadlock.tv website: “Deadlock reveals the recklessness, vibrancy and resilience of Australian youth through the anarchic lives of its central teenage cast. When long-standing regional rivalries explode at a late-night party, the mystery and chaos of what happens beneath the tropical gloss of an idyllic coastal town is exposed, divulging candid but also darkly humorous stories of the youth of the town…”

Super psyched to have been a part of it with some truly talented people! 

Late last year I was cast in an independent feature film Zelos, written and produced by Claire Harris and directed by Jo-Anne Brechin. It was super great to be on the set and get involved with such an awesome and talented crew. I can’t wait to see how it turns out!

I played the supporting role of David and had a lot of fun doing that.

For more info on the film check out their Facebook page and and when the film is finished, have a bloody watch, why don’t ya!

(Poster Credit: Photo by Roland Harris, Design by Sophia Harris (Taken from Facebook))

(Photo Credit: Ryan Stuart (Taken from Facebok))

Late last year Paper Moose was brought on to create a web series for UNSW to highlight the potential risk of bioterrorism. The series was to be shown in conjunction with a course the university was offering.

We created Pandemic.

Starring Michael Booth, Louisa Mignone and Chris Stollery, among many other talented people, the series was produced by Michelle Hardy, Directed by Nick Hunter and shot by Sid DeSilva.

I wrote the series, a departure from comedy, but fun, all the same.

All five episodes are available to watch online now.

Episode One

Episode Two

Episode Three

Episode Four

Episode Five

At the start of April, my book “A Fistful of Clones” found its way to the short list of a competition called “Book Pipeline”. Then, a few days later, it was a finalist.

As their website says, the Book Pipeline competition is ‘searching for authors with material appropriate for film or television adaptation.’

Given that A Fistful of Clones began its life as a script, which I then turned into a book, it will be super nice if it comes back full circle and the book can once again become a film like some kind of nostalgic caterpillar.

A feature screenplay of mine, “Ghosts & Robbers” which is about pretty much what you would think, received an honourable mention over the weekend at the “Horror Hotel” film festival in Ohio.

The festival isn’t on until June, but all the winners, finalists and honourable mentions have already been announced on their website.

Paper Moose started filming our sketch for TedXSydney this week, I won’t say too much about it, because, like a golden ring of doom, you have to keep it both secret and safe. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t soon be able to touch it, you can, it’s quite cool.

In the mean time, here are our last three sketches from TedXSydney 2013, 2014 and 2015.

Sound Advice (TedXSydney 2015)

Dreaming Small (TedXSydney 2014)

At the Dumpling Bar (TedXSydney 2013)

Earlier in the month Paper Moose was asked to be a part of a fun little project which saw six production companies across Australia creating 90 second short films using Getty Image stock footage.

The films would then screen at the Semi-Permanent design conference.

We made “Mr Garth: On Mars”.

“When Rei, Qi and Aldo, astronauts on a one-way trip to Mars, find a stowaway on board their spaceship – an eccentric cleaner with dust allergies – their plans for scientific discovery and the advancement of humankind take a backseat to putting up with Mr Garth.”

Coming Soon…

Design Credit: Dinalie Dabarera 

Photo Credit: Mark Taylor/Kathy Luu

And here it is… “Mr Garth: On Mars”.

DOP: Sam Phibbs
Producer: Michelle Hardy
Production Design: Amber Theron
Script: Seaton Kay-Smith
Director: Nick Hunter
Design: Dinalie Dabarera
Sound Mix: Sasha Zastavnikovic
Sound Recordist: Peter Andrew Yu
SFX: Pete Foley
Colourist: Julien Chichignoud
Cast: Ayesha Rose, Christopher Stollery, Kathy Luu, Seaton Kay-Smith and Nick Hunter as Mr Garth.
Additional Crew: Mark Taylor and Sharon Tan

As mentioned in a previous post, myself and the team at Paper Moose have once again, for the fourth year running, made a piece of content for the TedXSydney event, which took place at the Sydney Opera House on the 25th of May.

Have a look!

I’m no water-colourist, yet, for the most recent performance of Bonus Stage (the live video game talk show at Giant Dwarf), I played a character, Lazarus Spinks, who used them to illustrate the ideas he had in regards to making video game adaptations.

A filmmaker with a keen eye on the market, particularly existing properties within the market, Lazarus Spinks saw an opportunity, and, after examining case studies on recent films like; billion-dollar-earning blockbuster, ‘Warcraft’, the upcoming ‘Tetris’ Trilogy (an actual thing), and the recently announced ‘Minecraft’ film, he came up with a few potential video-game-to-film adaptations.

Below is a transcript of the film ideas that he presented to the Bonus Stage audience on Wednesday night.

PACMAN: THE MOVIE
In this gritty reboot of the franchise, John Pacman (pron. Pacm’n), famed explorer and loveable rogue, heads to the labyrinthine mines of the planet Mars to seek out “Mars Pearls”, which grow in abundance there and can fetch a pretty penny back on Earth.

However the tunnels of Mars are so dangerous, to many, the trip isn’t worth it, as no one comes out alive… Or dead. The dead also do not escape; trapped forever as ghosts, haunting the seemingly endless ‘Pearl Tunnels’ of Mars.

John Pacman, in his space suit and iconic three quarter yellow helmet, heads to Mars to not only bring back a haul of valuable Mars Pearls but also to discover the secret behind the tunnels: who built them and what did they build them for? And does the ‘Master Pearl’ even exist? And if so, does it really endow you with the powers of a God?

Like Blood Diamond meets John Carpenter’s: The Ghosts of Mars with a touch of Daylight starring Sylvester Stallone.

Pacman: The Movie!

FLAPPY: THE FLAPPY BIRD STORY
Taking its structure from Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey, Flappy tells the story of a young bird called to adventure who must leave her normal pipeless world and flap over the threshold into the world of pipes. Many many pipes stand between her and her destiny. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll never finish the film, but each time you watch it, you’ll get a tiny bit further until the film is no longer showing and the only way to watch the film is if someone still has it downloaded on their device.

SUPER MARIO BROS. 2000
Not a sequel, but a reimagining; starring Channing Tatum as Luigi and Jonah Hill as Mario! It will be like 21 Jump Street but in the Mushroom Kingdom! There’ll still be streets, there’ll still be jumping, but there’ll only be 2. Two brothers! Mario and Luigi.

This movie, like the last, will also end in a way that will imply a sequel. Super Mario Brothers 2000 and 22. 22 Jump Street. 22 Mario Jump Street. They’re not 21 anymore.

EDIT: Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum refuse.

EDIT: John Leguizamo has expressed interest.

TENCHU
Tenchu: Stealth Assassins! Set in the beautiful cities of Feudal Japan, two members of the Azuma Ninja Clan, Rikimaru and Ayame must use stealth and ninjitsu to root out corruption and defeat the demon Okage.

If the gorgeous setting of Japan isn’t enough to sell you on this classic Japanese game adaptation, wait till you get a load of the cast already signed on!

Mickey Rooney as Rickimaru, Scarlett Johansson as Ayame, and as the ancient Japanese demon, Okage; Tilda Swinton.

And before you say anything about these casting choices, let me remind you; in the game, Okage is a male Japanese demon, Tilda Swinton’s a woman, don’t say we’re not progressive.

CANDY CRUSH
“No one goes into the Candy World and no one comes out, but somebody’s got to be crushing those candies!” Starring Johnny Depp as Gene Wilder playing that weird guy with the long face and the beard, Candy Crush is like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory meets Assassins Creed. Half the film is set in the candy world, half the film is in the real world about someone who’s desperately trying to escape playing the fucking game. Just one more fucking go, just one more…

After his family are killed, his lands stolen and his life all but taken from him. Our hero, once a noble man, becomes a gladiator and fights his enemies and brothers alike in bloodthirsty combat as he strives for his freedom and the chance to take revenge on those that put him there in the first place. A tale of tragedy, bloodshed and survival.

It’s SUPER SMASH BROS!

The ideas above are all potential ideas.

Lazarus Spinks also walked the audience through a few films that are already in production and which will be released in the SVOD realm.

Netflix has a whole slate of Netflix originals coming up!

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG AND FRIENDS
Starring Adam Sandler as Sonic, Kevin James as Dr Robotnik, Chris Rock as Knuckles, David Spade as Tails and Rob Schneider as one of the woodland creatures. (NOTE: Before you ask, yes, Rob Schneider will have one of his great trademark catch-phrase lines that will live on in Schoolyards for years, it’s great. “Fight the Robotnik, you blue knob!”. Schneider always gets the good lines).

Basically, it’s Sonic with the cast of Grown Ups, but this movie has a plot and isn’t just five old friends hanging out getting paid millions of dollars to waste our time.

GOAT SIMULATOR
Not much to say about this one, it’s Goat Simulator starring Adam Sandler as the Goat. Even if you don’t watch it, you’ll never escape the poster, which will be splashed across your home screen every time you log in, whether you like it or not!

And finally,

ZELDA AND LINK
Coming in 2018, ZELDA AND LINK! Starring Adam Sandler as both Zelda and Link! It’s going to be great! (NOTE: “It’s going to be great!” is the official tagline of the film).

At this point in time, Lazarus Spinks is still waiting to hear back from the studios… Any of them.

UPDATE: Lazarus has heard back from some studios, but it’s mainly about legal issues, mainly cease and desist.